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Biorhythms change, habits adapt, and my routine gets messed up.

I already miss school. Going to class, maybe not, but the rest of it. Libraries, gymnasium, and friendly faces. OK class, too. I really like routine. An active routine is best for me because it keeps me moving every day. Once I am out and about (on campus, that is) then I am motivated to keep moving.

Lethargy seems to sneak up on me. When I stop moving I start requiring more sleep. Next thing you know my circadian rhythm begins to shift, resetting itself back to a longer day than the typical 25h cycle.

Is there any way out? Can I freeze time?

copycat

Ten random things about me:

1. I read school books for fun.
2. I still have not found time to read some books from two academic programs ago.
3. Radio fascinates me. ARRL Antenna Handbook might one day make my shopping list.
4. Internet addiction.
5. Dance is fun.
6. Absence of public speaking jitters.
7. Been involved in _one_ musical.
8. Taller than the average bear.
9. Prefer two wheeled vehicles...
10 ...and want to try one-wheelers!

Nine places I want to visit:

1. Home
2. The future
3. A mind (mine or anothers)
4. A deserted beach
5. Canopy of a rainforest
6. Where each of my friends lives, works, and plays
7. A parallel dimension
8. The past
9. A peaceful place

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1. Learn
2. Live
3. Love
4. Care
5. Hope
6. Enjoy
7. Desire
8. Understand

Seven ways to win my heart:

1. Friendship
2. Food
3. Puppy-dog eyes (still attached to puppy)
4. Impress me with what you do
5. Lead the way
6. Indulge me a little
7. Put me at ease

Six things I believe in:

1. Truth
2. Beauty
3. Innocence
4. Good intentions
5. Ignorance
6. Sunlight

Five things I am afraid of:

1. Change
2. Fear
3. Rules
4. Power (mine or of others)
5. Answers

Four of my favorite things:

1. Time
2. Stretching
3. Grapes, green, seedless, chilled
4. Language

Three things I do everyday:

1. Search for my purpose
2. Seek the happiness of others
3. Forget the past

Two things I am trying not to do:

1. Forget the future
2. Gain wisdom the hard way

One thing that separates me from the rest...

1. Self-anointed least likely to stop and smell the flowers stopping, and doing exactly that, as often as possible.

no such thing as a panic attack

But why, oh why, do I react in a mediterranean way to stress? Sleepless eves with hard awakenings. Physical symptoms instead of a mental anguish that could be passified with Quattro Stagioni. And so it begins.

I enjoy trying to relax. Sometimes by body permits me relax. Not always is it easy to relax for relaxing can only be controlled after becoming relaxed. I think I will try to use solar radiation to recharge me tomorrow. That has worked for me in the past to relax. Tomorrow I should relax, as there will be precious little to time continue to prepare. Examinations mean the end of preparation and a chance to demonstrate understanding. Examinations also mean a load of free time.

fairy tales and other distractions

I really like unreality--but only when it has some real sense to it. Allow me to explain:

Tales are terrific. They come by radio, books, theatre, and motion picture. The presentation must permit me to see the situation and to see myself in the situation (which character is only sometimes important). Printed material tends to give me this creative unreality outlet best.

I don't find myself exclusively enjoying the escapism aspect of tales. Escapism has limited appeal for me. I prefer to do things over watching. I prefer to learn than to repeat. I could not care less whether a tale is fictitious, historical, or current. Calling any of these unreality is no paradox. Each is not my reality. So, to me it is unreality.

Unfortunately, reality can't be put on hold. Nor can it be resumed at will. It just comes into the foreground with a hearty kick.

res ipsa loquitor

Some of my class-mates are crazy talented. So far, I know of only one whose interests parallel the variety of my interests. They write so elegantly, whether arty, high-class, blunt, or heart-pulling. I should try writing. So far I'm working on myself physically, emotionally, and culturally.

It's weird how things just get done when there is no apparent ability for it. Take today's five hours of lecture. My one hour break was spent helping out in the on-air studio and recording/voicing Friday's concert calendar. A terrific interlude between classes lasting 3h and 2h.

How can I analyze myself to find out where I most need improvement? 'Cause doing that is the only way that I can continue to improve. I think 'socially' is what comes next. That's trouble since being on good behaviour is very tiring to me. Introvert or extrovert--I prefer 1-1 interaction--I require some quantity of socialization. Typically obtained through sport I must find another venue.

Please suggest venues.

favourite singing voices

My favourite voice to listen to has not changed in a little over a year. At some recitals, including one earlier tonight, I thought it might change. I must say that I don't really want to change favourites at this point in time.

Remember how you just know there is something better around the corner? I doubt that is possible in this case. Not just a psychological effect here--familiarity breeds affection--because the rarity of the experience makes me treasure it more and more.

Inside I am super happy to know there is someone whom I could listen to sing anything and enjoy. Favourite speaking voices is a matter that I will consider another day.

My favourite voice to listen to has not changed in a little over a year. At some recitals, including one earlier tonight, I thought it might change. I must say that I don't really want to change favourites at this point in time.

Remember how you just know there is something better around the corner? I doubt that is possible in this case. Not just a psychological effect here--familiarity breeds affection--because the rarity of the experience makes me treasure it more and more.

a musical reunion

That video footage proves my inability (at this point) to judge my presentation and quality of performance. My original ranking of the girls' voices, quite to the contrary, was perfectly accurate: those I liked in the first few rehearsals came through all the audio gear (wireless mic-speaker-camcorder mic) no less beautiful than they sound in person. I need practice, my own mic, and lots and lots of effort put into self-assessment. Just wait until you see me next year!

Bed Time

Now accepting -- suggestions to maintain a regular bed
time of my choosing -- from all comers.

Future undone

I received an amazing complement today: I'll be very good to my [future] wife. It's a little much for me to think about for the time being. There are a few reasons for that, the least of which is having, merely, a secondary desire to settle down. Two other big reasons include not knowing anyone (on the continent) that I could picture settling down with, and being at the start of my search for purpose. I have a sneaking suspicion that these three factors will join together and be solved simultaneously at the right time.

The "on the continent" qualification is from spending so little time lately with two girls who interests me and are in the country. When I finally choose to propose to a girl then it will also be time to settle down, which in turn implies choosing a livelihood.

One great thing about living day-to-day is the subject matter of my dilemmas. Ultimate, swim, weights, group fitness class? Read contract casebook in morning, afternoon, or evening?

events

CEARP studio electronic music presentation included a piece entitled coulrophobia. It contained squeaky balloons. They were sampled, of course.

Secret Garden (LMT)

I am addicted to unreality, diversions, and fantasy. Children's fables preferred. Opening night of this show was obviously not lacking. Many children attended the show, too.